To Save a Life
by Waiting-for-a-mad-man-in-221b
Summary: It's been a year and Kurt has given up all hope that Blaine will wake up. But then he does, and Kurt has to try to explain to both Blaine and Hadley (Blaine's daughter) what has happened. Blaine is thankful of course that Kurt has saved his life and has looked after his daughter for the last year, but with the grief of losing his husband Blaine just wants a fresh start.
1. Chapter 1

_More complete description-_

**_It's been a year and Kurt has given up all hope that he will wake up. But then he does, and Kurt has to try to explain to both Blaine and Hadley (Blaine's daughter) what has happened. Blaine is thankful of course that Kurt has saved his life and has looked after his daughter for the last year, but with the grief of losing his husband in the crash weighting heavily on his shoulders, Blaine just wants to move on with his life and leave town with Hadley. Kurt is devastated and will do anything to keep the little girl he has become so attached to in his life. _**

* * *

_Just-just wake up_, Blaine had been thinking the same thought for… he didn't know how long, but this was the closest he'd ever gotten to actually succeeding. He could hear nurses chatting in the hallway, he could here dripping noise his IV made every minutes or so. Usually he could only hear loud things, like if someone was sitting in his room talking to him, and then it was only fragments of conversation. Usually it was doctors wondering aloud what they are going to do, explaining different test results to other doctors and nurses. He just wanted to wake up so he could stop all of this. He had to wake up, he had to make it out of this and make sure they were ok. They couldn't be gone… They couldn't.

He heard fast footsteps, "Page Dr. Hummel," the voice was urgent. "I think he's… I think he's waking up…" He heard the nurse say a little breathlessly. "I need you in here Lizzy," the same nurse called out the door way just as Blaine's eyes began the laboring job of opening. He squinted at the brightness of the fluorescent lights, and quickly shut them again, squeezing them together tightly. The nurse took the hint and flipped the switch off.

"Hey," she said cheerfully, coming back to stand by his bedside. "Good to see you awake." Blaine could hear a little hesitation in her voice. His first thought was that she was going to tell him they were dead. _But they can't be, they can't be. Please god don't let them be dead, I need them. Please. _But then she continued, "Do you remember what happened Mr. Anderson?"

* * *

_"Head on, two adult males, one infant female. Other driver DOA. ETA two minutes." _

_ "I'll have a team ready," Kurt assured the EMT. He gathered his best staff and sent them to meet the ambulance at the door. He heard the sirens before he saw the lights, flashing through the thick snowfall. He could tell there were going to be a lot of car accidents tonight. _

_ Kurt took in the disappointment on the EMT's face and knew that one of them was DOA. They pulled him out first, Kurt turned his attention to him while the rest of the team split up to take care of the others, he tried the defibrillator, once, twice… gone. He ran to check on the infant next but she was mostly unscathed thanks to her car seat. _

_"He's coding!" He heard Lizzy yell from the next room. He grabbed the crash cart and the paddles and hustled to the man's aid. Thankfully this time he was able to start the man's heart back up, and had it stabilized within a few minutes. _

_xXx_

_ The next morning the man still hadn't woken up. A license revealed his name to be Blaine D. Anderson-Smythe; his only emergency contact was his husband, Sebastian Anderson-Smythe, who was the other man involved in the crash. _His_ emergency contact didn't help Kurt much either, because he was lying in a hospital bed, in a coma. Kurt put Lizzy on the task of finding next of kins. They had to find someone to take care of the little girl. _

_ No such luck. _

_ She had found the number of Mr. and Mrs. Anderson; they only lived a couple hours away in Westerville. But the little hope she had soon faded when Mrs. Anderson picked up. _

_ "Hello Mrs. Anderson, I'm calling from Lima General Hospital. Your son Blaine has been in an accident,"_

_ "What does he need money for his medical bills? We told him if he went through with that marriage not to contact us, lord that boy never listens does he? If you don't mind I'd like to speak with him." Lizzy sputtered on the other end, completely disgusted and thrown off guard by this woman's ignorance. Here her son was, half dead in a hospital bed and she was worried about money?_

_ "Actually Ma'am I'm afraid you can't speak with him, he's in a coma. That's why I'm calling; I need to find someone to take care of Hadley. She was involved in the accident but is doing just fine; thankfully she was in her car seat correctly."_

_ "Well can't her other father-" she spit the word out as if it tasted bad in her mouth, "take care of her." Lizzy wished she could reach through the phone and smack this woman. _

_ "I'm sorry ma'am but-" she eyed her records for the name, "Sebastian Anderson-Smythe has passed away. I really need to find someone who can take care of Hadley until your son wakes up, is there anyway you could?" _

_ "I'm sorry, I told my son when he married that fruit-loop that I could never be a part of his life. That is what we agreed on, and that is how things will stay. Surely you can find the child a foster home, or something." Lizzy had to bite her tongue to keep herself from exploding at this woman. _

_ "Mrs. Anderson, please, foster homes are limited and not ideal for any child. Please just consider and get back to me."_

_ "Like I said, I'm sorry but it's not going to happen." She couldn't even bring herself to give the woman the normal, 'have a nice day!', she slammed the phone on the receiver. _

_ The conversation didn't deter her from her mission, she continued searching for the other man's parents, or a brother or sister. No siblings and the rest of her hope finally dwindled when she found Sebastian Anderson-Smythe's parents' obituaries, in the Westerville Times. _

_ She knocked on Kurt's office door, he sighed when he noticed he grim look. "No luck, huh?" _

_ "One set of homophobic grandparents, and one set of dead ones." She plopped into the patient chairs in front of his desk and began explaining in more details. "This guys' mom didn't even care that he some was in the hospital. She almost sounded glad, like he had gotten what he deserved. Ugh it took so much for me not to bitch her out!" _

_ "Well I'm glad you didn't, we don't need a law suit on top of this." _

_ "I'm sorry, Kurt." She sighed, he mouth forming an exaggerated frown. _

_ "Hey, it's not your fault. I'm just sad that the kid' going to have to be put in foster care. Honestly that's the worst part of my job, seeing kids lose their parents…" He trailed off his mind going back to his eight year old self crying him self to sleep nearly every night for a month after his mom had died. And he still had his dad, this girl had no one, hopefully it wouldn't be that way for long, but they had no way of knowing for sure. "I'm going to go check on her, make sure everything is alright and then call someone to set up a foster home. Can you just check on the dad a couple of times an hour? Any change in blood pressure you tell me ok?" _

_ "Aye-aye captain."_

xXx

"_How's she doing?" Kurt asked his stepmother as he entered the little girl's room. _

_ "She doing ok, I mean she's crying a lot but it's only normal when being handled by strangers all day... Kurt is he- do you think he's going to be alright?" Kurt crossed over the threshold and took a seat on the other side of the crib. He reached through the bars and the curly haired girl grabbed onto his fingers. She wasn't crying now but her bright blue eyes were still red and puffy from her last fit of tears. _

_ "I don't know." He answered honestly. "I'm hopeful, but he has a lot of swelling in his brain and spinal cord. If he can stay stable then I'm sure that in time it will go away and he could wake up. I just don't know how long it will be. Could be weeks, could be months."_

_ "Couldn't you do surgery?"_

_ "Without consent, no. Not if it isn't an emergency. It's too risky otherwise. Which means as long as he's still comatose I have to find this little one a foster family." The girl started crying again. The doctor plucked the girl from her crib and began to shush and rock her gently. Carole handed him a bottle and after a few minutes of feeding the baby was dead weight in Kurt's arms. Fast asleep. Kurt smiled at the sweet little face nuzzled into his chest. _

_ "Doesn't look like you need to look too far." Carole smirked, before moving on with her rounds._

* * *

Kurt's in the break room, trying to catch a quick nap between shifts, when he gets the call.

"Come on Liz, I'm trying to sleep."

"Kurt he's- he's waking up. Actually," she pauses, "he's awake." Kurt gasps. "Take a couple minutes for yourself, and then come and talk to him." Kurt's mind is reeling. _He's awake? But that means…_

"Yeah," it's barely a squeak. "Yeah of course." It's only when he hits the end button that he lets the tears fall. And god, does he wish they could be happy tears, but they can't be. He can't fake himself into thinking this is a good thing. How could it ever be a good thing when he's going to have to give her back to him?

He knows he's an awful person for thinking it, for feeling it, but he can't help it. He can't imagine a life without her anymore. He can't imagine not seeing her smile at him when he gets home from work everyday. He can't think about just handing her over and never seeing her again. He's sure if he has to do it that it will kill him.

xXx

"Mr. Anderson-Smythe?" Kurt knocked timidly on the doorframe of his room. The man waved him in; he took the seat next to his bed. A lot was going to have to be explained. "I'm Dr. Hummel. How are you feeling?"

"Where are they? Are they ok?" His face was hard but his large worried eyes betrayed him as the darted between the doctor's face and his hands that he wrung nervously.

"Hadley is fine," the tension in his shoulders eased slightly. "But- well there's no-" the patient melted into a pool of tears. His hands moved to cover his face. He pushed the palms of his hands into his eyes.

"Oh god, oh god, oh god…" He repeated, each word coming out as a gasp for breath as he tried to control his sobs. "It's all m-my f-fault. I-"

"Hey, hey, no shush…" Kurt tried in vein attempt to calm the man. He knew he was going to need his own time to deal with this, but there was still a lot more to explain.

"I want to see her. Please, I need to see her. Bring her to me, please." He pleaded, shiny tears racing down his cheeks. Kurt almost did, he almost told Blaine to sit tight, and he almost raced to get Hadley where she was at his father's house being watched by who she had been calling 'grandma', but then he remember… Blaine wouldn't even recognize his daughter.

"Mr. Anderson-Smythe" the other man winced.

"It's Blaine, just- call me Blaine."

"Blaine," Kurt said with a nod. "I need to explain everything before I can let you see her. Ok?"

"…Ok…"

* * *

_"You're really going through with this? Kurt you have no idea how to take care of a child!"_

** "**_I'm a doctor dad, I'm sure I could take better care of her than half of the foster parents out there." Burt huffed but didn't argue any further. _

_ "Just make sure you really think about this, son."_

_ "I have thought about it," Kurt assured, "I've been thinking about it for a while now actually. Well… not necessarily foster care, but I've wanted a kid for a while. I'm done with waiting for the right guy to come along. I want to help some one that can't help them self; Hadley has no one dad."_

_ Burt nodded, seeing his son's point. He was just worried for him. "What if he wakes up? What happens then?" _

_ "Well then I give her back, after he is fit to take care of her." _

_ "Isn't that going to be hard?" _

_ "It's what happens in all foster care situations, dad. Either the kids get sent back to their parents or some other family adopts them. I'll be able to handle if and when it happens._

* * *

"Blaine, you need to know that you've been comatose for quite some time now." Blaine raises an eyebrow. "You've been out a year, Blaine." Blaine blanches.

"A ye-year?" He stutters. "That means-where the hell is she? Let me see her. I need to see her." He grew angrier every passing moment.

"Mr. Anderson-Smythe"

"Blaine!" He shouts, startling a nurse in the hallway, making her drop her records.

"Please Blaine, calm down. I can't let you see her when you're like this, ok?" This just seemed to make him angrier.

"You think I'd harm my own child?"

"Of course not, Blaine," Kurt put a reassuring hand on the other man's. "It's just a precaution. Just calmed down and I will be more than happy to bring her to you, I just have to explain one more thing."

"Like who has been taking care of her for the past year, maybe?"

"Yes, and this is completely biased but I'd say she's been in pretty good hands." Blaine's face screws up in confusion. He points a finger at his doctor, question replaces confusion.

"You?"

"I know what it's like to lose a parent Blaine, I also know how foster families usually work. They can't offer the kind of emotional stability that a child who's lost someone needs. I figured I could help with that, if it ever got to that point."

"What do you mean 'that point'?"

"Well she's only two, and sure she has a lot of questions but most of them are 'where's the food'. I had specialist look at you Blaine, I did everything I could to try to get this little girl her dad back, none of them could give me a solid answer to if you would wake up or not. And if you didn't then surely she would have questions about where she came from. Why she didn't have a mom and a dad, why she didn't look like me. I could help explain some of those things; better, I'd like to think, than a normal foster family."

The patient just stares up at the ceiling, unseeing. He takes a large stuttering breath. "She's talking." He whispers, his voice cracking slightly. "She's talking, and walking and I've missed it all."

"I know it sucks, Blaine, but it's not your fault. It's no ones fault. It was just an accident."

"An accident that I cause that killed my husband, and left my child with no one."

"If anything caused the accident it was the blizzard that happened that night." Blaine looks him over out of the corner of his eyes.

"You remember what happened that night?" Kurt smiles a sad smile.

"Of course. In a way, it was the best night of my life."

"And why is that?"

"Because Hadley is a truly amazing little girl, and god-" Kurt wipes the tears gathering under his eyes. He never thought he'd actually have to do this. He never thought he'd actually have to give her up. Give her back. "Just- I'm just glad she has her dad back. I know I would give anything for my mom to come back." He says with the best fake smile he can manage.

"Can I see her now?" His voice is small, afraid, as if he were afraid Kurt would say no. "Please."

"Of course, I'll be back with her in about twenty minutes ok?" Blaine nods, his eyes teary and his face blotchy, but his mouth is turned up in the smallest of smiles. Kurt turns to leave but Blaine asks him a final question that just about breaks him.

"Dr. Hummel, does she… does she call you dad?" Kurt takes a moment and nods.

"I've brought her in here and explained the best I could who you are. I've tried to have her call me Kurt but she hears all these kids at daycare calling their father's dad and she just ran with it. She's only two, you can't expect a two year old to understand all of this; hell I barely understand it." Blaine nods shakily, as silent tears slip down his reddened cheek. "I'll go get her for you." Another nod and then Kurt leaves, unable to hold it in any longer.

* * *

**Disclaimer: I do not know how things happen in the medical field. This is all based off of quick research or just stuff that I make up to fit with the story. So if anything is wrong just ignore it or feel free to tell me, what ever! Thanks for reading, reviews are always welcomed and appreciated! **


	2. Chapter 2

"Kurt!" Carole exclaims from the couch. "You're home early, you-" As good as he was at hiding his tears Carole was a mom, she always knew. "Hey, hey what's wrong?" She guided him over to the couch. He thankfully fell into the arms that she opened up for him, and began sobbing onto her shoulder. He stops just long enough to get the words out.

"He's awake." He stayed in her arms for a couple of minutes, trying to compose himself so Hadley doesn't have to see him like this. "I-uh," he wiped his eyes, and nose. "I have to bring her to him."

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"No, I'm good but thank you. I-just. I'll just go get her."

Kurt finds her in his old room, which they had turned into a little nursery for her when she stays over. She's in his old crib because his dad had never thrown it away. Kurt lifts her up gently, trying not to wake her. She squirms slightly but she she's back in a deep sleep in no time.

She's still asleep when Kurt pulls into the hospital parking lot. This time when he picks her up she's awake with in moments. "Daddy?" She groans, voice adorably scratchy with sleep. "Where are we?"

"We're going to meet someone very special to you." They walk past Lizzy and she musters up her best reassuring smile. Kurt nods a thanks and slips into Blaine's room.

Even though he hasn't seen her in a year, he knows there is no discretion to whether or not the little girl in the doctor's arms is his daughter. Black wild curls, olive skin, and even though her eyes are a brilliant blue they were large and round, the same shape as his. He wants to reach for her. He wants to finally have her in his arms after all this time, and he never wants to let go. But she doesn't really have a clue who he is, and the last thing he wants to do is scare his little girl.

"I…wow." He says airily, his voice shaking and cracking all at the same time. He doesn't even know if it was audible. It hadn't really felt like he'd been out for a year until this moment. Seeing his baby as… not a baby anymore. He realizes he hasn't just missed her learning how to walk and talk, he's missed every day. He can never get them back, they'll belong to Kurt and he's going to have to find some way to be ok with that. But today is not the day he figures out how. Today all he wants to do is hold his baby girl and never let go.

He reaches out a hand, Kurt pulls back slightly. The action makes his stomach flip; _please just- she's all I have left._

"Hadley do you remember when I brought you in here before?" Kurt's voice is soft but not babying. She shakes her tiny head and curls bounce around he bright eyes. "You don't remember me telling you who this is?" Another shake of the head, no. "Hadley, honey, this is your dad." He pauses, the words hanging thickly in the air. "Do you remember now?" He prods.

"No." Her voice is small and she looks up to Kurt with big questioning eyes. "I thought you were my daddy?"

"In a way, I am. But," Kurt points to where Blaine is waiting as patiently as he can possibly manage. "He's your dad too, and he really, _really_ misses you. Do you think you could give him a nice big hug? I bet he'd really love that."

She nods animatedly. "I love hugs!" She says with a squeal of delight. She wriggles from Kurt's arms and throws herself onto the bed. Blaine lets out an, "oomph", as he catches her, squishing her to his chest. They each hook their chins over one another's shoulders. Suddenly it's like he's holding her for the first time all over again.

* * *

_"Just breathe, honey," Sebastian instructed, letting go of Hannah's hand to take hold of his husbands. Blaine's breathing evened out, and as soon as he wasn't hyperventilating anymore Hannah let out a howl of pain that started him right back up again._

_ "Jesus, you'd think Blaine was the one pushing a watermelon out of their lady parts." Hannah quipped. That only seemed to make Blaine more guilty and jittery. Sebastian forced the shorter man into the chair in the corner of the room to stop his obnoxious pacing. _

_ "I'm sorry, I'm just nervous."_

_ "No really? I couldn't tell." Sebastian smiled lovingly at him and Blaine returned it only looking more exasperated than loving. He sighed and leaned back in the chair. His leg began to bob, and the taller man groaned. _

_ But neither of them had time to be nervous, or annoyed just a few short minutes later when they heard a pitiful cry rip through the room. The doctor handed her to Sebastian. Before Blaine had the chance to stand of from the chair he had been refined to, Sebastian had made himself a seat on his lap. Blaine sat speechless as their daughter cried herself red, and tired and soon fell asleep. He didn't think he'd ever heard a more beautiful sound. All the music in the world couldn't compare to this. _

_ Blaine stroked her flushed cheek softly, not wanting to wake her; but just needing to touch her, to be assured that yes, she was really here, he really did have a daughter. He was a dad. _

_ Her little face scrunched up, her little nose twitched. Blaine swore that he would never see anything cuter than that. That was until Sebastian carefully placed her in his arms and the cutest little yawn stretched over her whole face. _

_ Sebastian snapped a picture as Blaine caught the yawn bug, and the two had wide-open mouths, eyes squinted and noses scrunched. Sebastian had loved the picture, but Blaine couldn't get past the double chin he sported. But secretly Blaine had always loved the photo; it was just the first that his husband would take of them where they could have been mistaken for twins._

* * *

The embrace is over far too quickly; soon she is crawling off the bed and back onto the doctor's lap. Blaine hates that he is jealous. He should be grateful that Hadley had someone who cared so much about her to look after her while he couldn't. But it's hard to know that your baby doesn't think of you as daddy anymore. She doesn't know who you are. She doesn't know how much you love her.

Blaine is broken from his stupor when a little voice pipes up from across the room.

"If you're both my daddies, how come I only see you daddy?" She looks pointedly at Kurt. "Aren't kid s'possed to see their daddies everyday?"

"Uh- well honey…" He trails off, where do he go with this? "Hadley you know wha a doctor does right?" She nods yes. "Well you know I'm a doctor right?" Another nod. "Well daddy was very sick, Hadley."

"You were?" She looks scared, she doesn't want her daddy to be sick.

"No I wasn't, your-uh-other daddy was sick. And I had to take care of him. You see?" Nod. "Well now that he's better, after he gets his strength back he's… he's-uh." Kurt breaks off and chokes off a strangled sob. He wipes his eyes quickly, begging her not to notice, he replaces what ever look of pain is surely on his face with a smile. "He's going to take care of you." He finishes with a rush of breath.

"Why are you sad daddy? Daddy being back is good! Right?" Kurt meets Blaine's eyes over her head. He looks beaten, guilty. He knows what he's doing. But he also knows this is _his_ daughter. He didn't ask for this. He didn't ask for some stranger to fall in love with his daughter. Kurt knows that, but he still has to force out the next words. "Yeah baby, daddy being back is a really good thing."

xXx

"I took Hadley to the daycare so that we can talk… logistics." The patient looks to where the doctor stands crossed armed in the doorway. He wonders if he looks this pissed at all of his patients, or if he's pissed because Blaine had the audacity to wake up and want his child back.

"Ok." Blaine just purses his lips and waits for the doctor to continue. Kurt clears his throat, dipping into the chair next to the curly haired man's hospital bed. He finds himself staring at those curls. They are so much like Hadley's, so is it wrong for him to find the look of unruly, dark curls, incredibly attractive on Blaine and at the same time find them beyond adorable on her? _Jesus, Kurt. Get a grip, please; you have serious issues to work out. _

"I figured we would start out with the easier stuff. So right now I am here as your doctor, and only your doctor." He refers to Blaine's medical records as he talks. "Since your muscles have gone unused for so long you are going to have to go through extensive physical therapy before you can be released. Especially since um-"

"Especially since I'm alone, and I have no one who could take care of me." He supplies, Kurt cringes.

"So, You'll have physical therapy everyday for a month, and we'll see where you are then. Don't worry, you'll like the physical therapist, she's a good friend. For now you'll be kept under hospital care, until you're able to move around more."

"And this is just a guess but I won't be able to get her back until I'm out of here. Am I right?" Kurt sighs.

"I would love to give her back to you Blaine but she can't live in a hospital. And I know you hate the idea of me taking care of her any longer, but I promise you, you'll be able to see her whenever you want. Well whenever you want to see her when I'm not totally slammed with work. She either goes to the daycare here when I work, or she stays at my dads right down the street. So just ask one of the nurses to fetch me and I can try to swing it ok?"

He nods. Before he even has a chance to think about it, his next words are spilling from his mouth. "What if she doesn't like me?" Kurt is so taken aback by this. The thought hadn't even crossed his mind, much like the thought of Kurt actually leaving her hadn't crossed his mind. He hadn't let it. Yes he knew it was coming, but he couldn't let himself think that one day he might have to say goodbye to her for good. But now he couldn't help but think about it.

He couldn't get the image of Blaine dragging her away from him from his mind. And he prayed to the god that he didn't believe that it would never happen, though somewhere in the back of his head something was telling him that it was only inevitable. She's kicking and screaming bloody murder and he just wants to hold her. He just wants to scoop her into his arms and never let go. But he just keeps on pulling and eventually Kurt loses his grip. Loses her. Forever.

_Not now, Kurt. _He scolds himself. _Right now you are here as a professional. _"You're her dad, she already loves you." He doubts his strangled mess of words sounded the least bit encouraging, but he's surprised when Blaine turns his honey eyes towards him, with his lip trembling he nods slightly.


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry this is so short, and it took so long to get it up. I have been at play rehearsal, and shows a combined 70 hours these past two and a half weeks. One 10-10, and one 7:30-10 are included in that, so you could say I haven't had time to breathe. So thank you for your patience, and I hope to have more for you soon, our last performance is today, so I should have a lot more time for writing in the future! **

* * *

"Blaine Anderson I would like you to meet a good friend of mine, Quinn Fabray." Quinn greets them both with a bright smile; she reaches down to shake Blaine's hand.

"It's, well, I'm not going to say it's nice to meet you under these circumstances but…"

"Yeah," he agreed. He turned in his chair so that he faced Dr. Hummel. "Can I see her after this?" Kurt looked at him sadly and nodded, so taken with the edge of desperation in his voice. It had been a day since he'd seen her last. Yesterday had been filled with tests, tests and more tests. There had been hardly and time for Blaine to breathe, never mind sneak in a visit with his daughter.

"Of course," Kurt turns his attention to Quinn. "Call me when his appointment is over and I'll bring him back to his room." Quinn nods before Blaine can interject.

"You really don't have to do that, I'm sure I can find my way back."

"Do you even know what room you're in?"

"No." He sighs.

"I'll meet you down here in two hours."

xXx

Blaine is flat on his back. His fingernails dig into the fabric of the table as Quinn tries to push his knee to his chest. His joints and muscles ache from the sudden use, and he winces as she pushes just a little too hard.

"Arg, damn it, I was not expecting this." He sighs in relief as she lowers his leg down, and grimaces when she starts with the other one.

"Just let me know if you need a break, ok?" Blaine likes Quinn. She's nice, but with a little edgy, sarcastic side. It's much appreciated, especially with how proper, and stiff everyone has been since he's woken up. He's always hated hospitals; they were always so sterile and bright. It angers him that he will be spending at least another month here.

"I just want to be up and around again so I can get out of here!"

"Not a fan of hospitals? Shocker."

"Not a fan of hospitals, and not a fan of Lima." Stupid, stupid, stupid. He knows he's done it when he sees her joking smile sink into a confused frown.

"You-you're um, leaving Lima then?" God he knows she and Kurt are friends, why did he breach this topic. It's not even like it's any of her business.

"Well I have some friends in New York. Until I can find a job, and an apartment of our own, I called yesterday and they said we could stay with them."

"Does Kurt know about your plans? I-I mean he should know, as your doctor, you need to make sure you're fit to travel." Jesus, he wasn't stupid; he didn't suffer any brain damage during the accident.

"No, Kurt doesn't know yet." His eyes dart across the ceiling; he wishes he didn't feel bad about this. He wishes the thought of Kurt didn't intrude on every plan he'd been making up in his head, but he did. He can almost see her biting her tongue. She begins to rotate his leg in small circles, not pushing him far enough to hurt, only enough to make him uncomfortable. She has completed one full leg and is half way through with the other one when she breaks the silence.

"Listen Blaine, I know it's none of my business, and this situation is crazy and totally messed up, but Kurt he's…"

"Please don't. I know what you're gonna say, and trust me I've thought about this a lot. Please don't make this harder on me than it already is. I'm doing this because it's the best thing for Hadley." She considers this for a moment while she switches legs again.

"Is it the best thing, or the easiest thing?" He rolls his eyes at her, but his stomach drops anyway. It's true of course, it is the easiest way out, but can't that also be the best way? He would like to let himself believe that, but something stops him, and that something is Kurt.

xXx

"I'm scared Lizzy," he drops into his office chair, it slides back and hits the wall which startles him slighty, but he doesn't do anything to move it back. He sits there, silent and unmoving, afraid that he won't be able to hold the tears that prick his eyes back anymore if he talks.

"Can he-" Kurt nods cutting off her question. As a doctor he knows better than to wipe his nose on his sleeve, but as a father who's about to lose his baby all he knows is that he doesn't care.

"I'm just a foster parent, I have no legal rights to her after he is deemed well enough to care for her. And it's not like I would ever keep her from him… it's just hard knowing that he could just up and leave and I would never get to see her again." It's the first time he's confronted the fear out loud, he's mulled it over a billion times in his head, but saying it out loud seems to make the possibility of it seem that much more real.

Lizzy kneels in front of his chair, and wraps her arms around his torso, he hugs back halfheartedly. "It's gonna be ok, Kurt." Kurt knows she doesn't really know what to say; he doesn't blame her, he wouldn't either. What could you say to that? Oh I'm sorry that kid that's not really yours in any way's dad is awake from his yearlong coma and is going to take her away from you, yeah you know that thing that you knew could definitely happen?

"It doesn't feel like that right now. It feels like my whole world is caving in and I can't do anything to stop it."

"Who says you can't do anything about it?"

xXx

Kurt's shift had ended and hour ago, but instead of eating dinner in the comfort of his home, he was eating crappy cafeteria food. He had walked to Blaine's room earlier, fully intending to snatch Hadley up and head home. But he couldn't pull her away from him.

_She was sitting on his lap, the bed raised up into a sitting position, the little wheely table pulled up to the bed, where she was coloring on it. She had held up and incredibly colorful picture and said, "Look daddy it's you and me." _

_ Blaine smiled wide at her and wiped the little trail of escaped tears from under his eyes. And he in turn held up a picture of two stick figures, both with black curls and said, "I drew you and me too."_

_ She giggled wildly, and turned around to hug him around his neck. "That's beautiful, daddy," she said. _

_ And he said, "Yours is beautiful too, princess." She held them up surveying them, wondering what she could do with them._

_ "Can we put these on the 'fridgerator at home?" Kurt caught the flash of pain on Blaine's face, because he knew what home she was talking about… the one without him. But he nodded and smiled and said, "Of course," and continued coloring. _


	4. Chapter 4

Kurt stops short on his way to the Nurses station when he hears the mumbles coming from Blaine's room. He inches towards the door quietly, hoping he'll be able to make out what he's saying. He's not making any sense though. With the privacy curtain pulled around his bed, Kurt can't be sure, but he thinks that Blaine is sleep talking.

"Hang on…Please…Bas… Bas… no, pleeeasee."

He stands by the door a few more moments, waiting to see if he'll say anything else. When he doesn't talk for a couple of minutes Kurt is about to go find Liz and tell her that he's leaving for the day. He planned on going Christmas shopping today, but the dream of getting it all done today is ripped from his thoughts as a scream tears through Blaine's room.

It was so pained Kurt thought someone must have stabbed him. But pulling back the curtain revealed a completely woundless Blaine, writhing under the thin hospital blanket. Kurt's doctor took over and he quickly restrained him, holding down his wrist so he couldn't cause any harm to himself.

"Blaine," he began to call to him, hoping to rouse him out of his obviously bad dream.

"Blaine!" He said again, a little louder. "Blaine, wake up, come on!" The other man's eyes shot open, immediately blinking, trying to stop the tears that had escaped during his sleep. Kurt felt him fighting for the release of his hands, he obliged, stepping back he watched Blaine sit up in bed, rubbing and squeezing at his eyes.

"I'm sorry." He whined, rocking himself. "I'm sorry Bas, I'm sorry." He said it a few times over before Kurt got the courage to speak up.

He tried a soft, "Blaine," hoping that it wouldn't frighten him. The curly haired man's head whipped up, eyes red and wide, and filled with sadness and regret. Kurt didn't know why he wished he could take all of that sadness away, but he did.

Blaine looked 5 years old as he pulled his blanket up to his chin, grasping it so tightly his knuckles turned white, as if it were the only thing keeping him from falling apart. He stared at the wall in front of him.

"Do you want talk about it?"

He took a shaky breath, letting his grip loosen on the blanket, just a bit. "I've been trying to suppress all of these feelings, thinking that maybe if I can pretend like I've accepted everything then I'll really be able to." He looks at Kurt now, if he had to describe Blaine in that moment he would choose the words 'kicked puppy'. So sad and defeated, his eyes blank of all hope and light. "I dreamt… I dreamt about the accident. That's never happened before."

The doctor just nodded, praying for the patient to continue so that he didn't have to say anything at the moment, because he was at a loss for words. Here was the man, who could very well be ripping away the most precious thing in Kurt's life, without a backward glance, crying over loss. How morbidly ironic.

"It was so dark, and snowy, I couldn't see more than two feet in front of me." He braked, pulling in a loud breath. "Bas was singing along to 'White Christmas', Hadley was sound asleep." Kurt caught just the briefest glimmer of a smile as Blaine recounted the memory.

"She always falls asleep in the car." They said in unison. They turned to each other then, Kurt offered him a tight grin. It wasn't returned.

"Then the next thing I know I'm not in the car anymore. I'm kneeling next to where he was thrown from the car…"

"Blaine how did you know he was thrown from the car?"

"I-erm-actually didn't, not for sure, until right now." He tried to clear the thick emotion from his throat, but the next words were just as strangled. "He never liked wearing seatbelts. He said he was claustrophobic. Really he just hated the way it always seemed to strangle him because he could never sit still in the car, he was always turning around, and playing peek-a-boo with Hadley, or something like that. I told him that night though, I told him to wear it. God damn it!" Kurt could tell that punching the bed was not as much as of relief as Blaine was hoping for, but it seemed to calm him a bit. "I ran to check on Hadley, and god I had never been more relieved, and excited to hear a baby cry. Then I saw myself, and I could of sworn I was gonna die… I just looked like shit, broken beyond repair." He swallows loudly. "But I don't seem to care, because he had looked so much worse. I grab Hadley and run back to Bas, he's still breathing a little bit. Just little pathetic, shallow breaths. All I can think to do is hold him, wait till the ambulance comes for him. And then he just stopped, and I felt him slipping away."

Kurt had the sudden urge to wrap Blaine up in his arms, he would hold him and rock him and tell him everything would be ok. It was probably for the best that he resisted the urge, instead settling on a quiet, "I'm sorry." Even though he had no idea what he was sorry for.

"Kurt were you-did you try to save him?" Kurt was a little taken-a-back by this question, to say the least.

"Of course I did Blaine, I used the defibrillator multiple times; I'm sorry, there was nothing more that I could do." Blaine nods, relieved.

"I'm sorry I asked I know you wouldn't- you're a great doctor, I just needed to make sure, you know?"

"I understand completely." He assured him. "And I just need you to know that the accident was not your fault, you can't beat yourself up over it. What's done is done; there is no going back, only forward. Hadley is your forward, and you need to be there for her, both physically and emotionally. I know how hard it is to lose someone that you love. It's the hardest thing in the world, but you need to face it head on. Because you can't keep doing this to yourself, these violent dreams, there a testament to your mentally stability. You've got to find some way to accept his passing, and accept that it wasn't yours, or anybody's fault, ok? An accident is an accident."

Kurt saw a little bit of hope return to those honey eyes, he was glad that he could help Blaine get that back. But more than anything he was wrecked, both physically an emotionally. It had been a long day, lots of car accidents, and hypothermia, and he couldn't help but think of his mom, who had died in a car accident when he was 8, throughout Blaine's retelling of his dream. Also the fact that Blaine was slowly but surely improving, if not mentally than physically, and soon he would be out of the hospital and whisking Hadley off to some far away land where Kurt would never be able to see her.

Ok so he was being dramatic… or at least he hoped.

"And I know this is a sore subject, but while we're already on it, your lawyer called while you were asleep earlier. There were some things on Sebastian's will that he needs to talk to you about, also life insurance and things like that. Do you think you're going to be up for anything like that soon?"

The patient squeezed his eyes closed, as if the thought of meeting with the lawyer gave him a headache. Kurt could understand, the last thing he would want to do while being stuck in the hospital was talk to some stuck up lawyer. And the fact that the subject of the meeting would mainly circulate around his dead husband's will was probably off putting as well. "Yeah-yes, of course. I called him a couple of days ago when I was more, as you would say, mentally stable. I got his voice mail. I completely for got about it."

"Well good luck. I'll bring Hadley around tomorrow, but I have to head out now. Are you going to be all right?"

"Yeah, I think so. Thanks for uh-"

"It's alright Blaine, just try to get some restful sleep ok?"

"I promise."

They shared a smile, Kurt glanced at the clock, almost 5. For the first time in his life he didn't feel like shopping could solve his problems, he didn't even feel in the shopping mood. He would go Christmas shopping another day, right now he was too exhausted to even think about driving farther than his dad's house. Maybe he would just stay there with Hadley tonight. Plus all this talk about losing loved ones really made him crave a good old fashion Friday night dinner with his dad, even if it was only Wednesday…


	5. Chapter 5

Blaine did as he promised; he slept throughout the night, and half of the next day. It was just after one when a call to his room woke him.

"Hello I'm looking for Blaine Anderson-Smythe, this is his lawyer."

"Speaking," Blaine informed him.

"Ah Mr. Anderso-"

"Please, just call me Blaine."

"Blaine, yes we have some paperwork for you to look over and sign, and we have your husband's Will to attend to. I'd like to do this as soon as possible, saying it's already been a year. Any chance we could meet tomorrow; at the hospital obviously."

"Yes, definitely. I have physical therapy until two but feel free to drop by anytime after that. I'll be here." He joked, halfheartedly.

"Great, looking forward to meeting with you Mr. An- Blaine." Blaine nodded as if the lawyer could see him.

"As am I, see you tomorrow; goodbye."

"Goodbye."

xXx

"So, Blaine, just sign here and we're all set with that." He signed the last of 20 or so signatures, that all looked different. It's like when you return to school after summer vacation, and your handwriting is god awful… except worse. His first few signatures looked like a five years olds work, and to be honest the rest weren't much better.

"Now that that's done, we need to go over your husband's Will." Blaine nodded; taking the paper that was handed to him, into his trembling hands. He read what he'd been dreading to read since yesterday. It had nothing to do what was, and was not left to him. It was the fact that Blaine had nothing. Absolutely nothing. No house, no car, no savings. The car, and house had been repossessed after his failure to pay the bills. Not like that was his fault, but that's the thing about banks, they don't care. And all of his savings had been spent on the many apartments he had lived in when he had finally escaped from his parent's clutches.

He knew that they wouldn't give Hadley back if he couldn't provide for her, and that scared the shit out of him. He just hoped for Hadley's sake, that Sebastian had more savings than he had.

**Last Will & Testament **

**Sebastian Anderson-Smythe**

_ I, Sebastian Anderson-Smythe, of 72 Lincoln Ave, Westerville, Ohio, declare that this is my last Will and testament, and here by revoke all prior Wills and Codicils._

****And that was as far as Blaine could get before the paper started to ripple from the wet tears dropping from his cheeks. He continued reading anyway; he needed know what Sebastian wanted. It was painful to think about the night that they sat down, and wrote their Will's together. He remembers asking about taking a peek at his husband's wishes, but Sebastian just laughed it off and continued writing.

He could see why now.

Sebastian was just as broke as he was.

They had never really talked about finances; they both just went with the flow. They both had great jobs and enough money to pay the bills each month and put food on the table. They lead a comfortable life, but their cushion was definitely not fit for a princess, the pea was poking through. And he and Hadley would barely be able to live off of his life insurance policy for a year.

Blaine felt himself breaking down.

He needed to get the damn lawyer out of there.

He signed what he needed to sign, he thanked who he needed to thank, he shook the lawyers hands and all but shooed him from the room. He needed a moment.

He knew that he shouldn't be mad, and he wasn't even mad at Sebastian, he was mad at himself, for not talking the proper measures, for being so carefree, and not having the brain to plan for this once unimaginable future. One without his rock, his best friend, the love of his life.

Now Sebastian was gone, his house, his car, his job, all gone. He had no way of taking care of his baby. He had nothing.

* * *

Every time Kurt had brought Hadley to see Blaine, it seemed like his smile only grew bigger. But today his lips barely rose in a half assed attempt. Kurt set Hadley down on his lap, sticking his smart phone in her hand to keep her occupied, something he only did when he felt it absolutely necessary.

"Do you want to tell me what's wrong?" Blaine was silent. Kurt nodded, biting his lip. He turned to his foster daughter then. "He honey, why don't I drop you off in the playroom for a little while so that I can talk to your dad, ok?"

"Is Charlie der?"

"I don't know why don't we go find out?"

"Ok!" She said jumping up from his lap, dragging him out the door. Kurt returned a few minutes later, childless, having left Hadley to play with one of her best friends.

"I know you don't think that it's any of my business, but I'm your doctor, and I need to know that you're ok." Blaine avoided him, switching on the TV, he muttered a gruff, "I'm fine."

Oh no, Kurt was not taking care of two children today.

He snatched the remote out of the patient's hand, switching it off and slamming the remote down, out of Blaine's reach. "Please just tell me what's wrong so I can try and help. I felt like we kind of had a break through yesterday, like maybe you were starting to trust me, or was it just in my head?"

Blaine studied Kurt's face, he must of found the frustration that Kurt made no point to hold back. He left his shoulders drop slightly, and it was almost like the physical representation of him letting his guard down.

"My lawyer came today, Sebastian's life insurance will barely support us for a year, and his savings are all but gone, if he ever had any." He paused and sucked in a deep steadying breath.

"Were you expecting something different?"

"I was expecting _something_. Don't you see Kurt? I have nothing!" Kurt flinched at his raised voice. His patients had only yelled at him a number of times, and it always managed to silence him, which was not a small feat. Kurt Hummel was not one for silence. And Blaine hadn't even started.

"I don't have my husband, I don't have a house I don't have a car, I don't have a job, I don't have any savings, and I don't have my daughter,"

"Of course you-"

"No!" He shouted determinedly. "I don't have her! You do, and I won't get her back until I can provide for her. And who the hell knows when that's going to be? I can't get a job until I'm cleared, and I'll have to work until I can afford an apartment and food and am able to buy clothes for her, and pay for day care so that I can got to work, and god-I'm just so… I'm just tired, Kurt." A sad little laugh accompanied the end of his sentence. "And even when I do get out of here, I have no where to go! I don't even have enough money to get to New York."

Kurt decided to ignore the mention of New York, for the sake of both their sanities. Though, he made sure to store it in the back of his mind, to bring up at a better time. And with his brain functioning at half speed, still trying to process everything that Blaine just said, he somehow made the suggestion that Blaine should stay with him.

"Are you serious?" Blaine asked incredulous. Kurt mentally shook himself, _was he?_ He didn't even remember thinking it; it had just kind of slipped out. Yet the more he thought of it, the more sense it started to make.

"Just until you can get back on your feet, in both senses of the word. If you stay at my place, you won't have to be in here so long, you'll get to see Hadley everyday, you won't have to pay rent, or for food." At the mention of his daughter the other man instantly perked up. There was a pause where Blaine just stared at him as if he had three heads, and slowly a smile started to creep onto the patients face.

"You're really serious about this?"

"One hundred percent."


End file.
